can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
