Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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