I'm lost and stupid without you.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
