he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
