This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My dick has a subreddit
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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