Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
wanna go halves on a baby?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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