he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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