Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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