Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
