I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this boner is exhausting
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
