Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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