we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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