Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
