We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
