i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Apparently you make a good broom.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
