i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
