she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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