Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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