I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
