Taylor Swift is so right about you.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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