just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
