By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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