C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
