If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
