I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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