Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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