none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
