I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
