And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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