dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
