the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
