How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
