matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
