genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
