CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
