Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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