I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
