i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
