Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
