How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
