giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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