You really coming over, don't trick.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He? As in you personified your dick?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
