remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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