so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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