I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
