remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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