I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
