...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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