so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
