"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
