What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
