I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
