He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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