he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I did not marry a roomba.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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