i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
