Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
