summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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