She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
