What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
